How to Get What You Truly Want

The other night, my husband and I talked about our top 3 happiest moments. I’m not talking about a whole period of time, like when you were carefree children or party animals in college. I’m talking about 3 specific moments attached to a specific event where you recall feeling the happiest.

I had so many to choose from, and for that, I am incredibly grateful. But for the purposes of this discussion, I selected my top 3. For me, my moments of sheer happiness that have stood out to me the most (and these are in order by date, not preference) were as follows:

 

  1. When I graduated with my undergrad degree – and not because “yay, undergrad is done” or “yay, what a great accomplishment” it was because everyone I love was all in one place together. I went to school out of state so my family and friends from back home were always missed. So to have my family, old friends and new friends together in one place was an amazing feeling.
  2. My wedding day- not only because I married my best friend, but also for the exact same reasons mentioned above. So you can see the pattern here, I love being around people I love.
  3. When I returned from my yoga retreat in Tulum, Mexico. (I know what you’re thinking…returned? What about while you were there?)

 

So then I thought about why I chose these moments. I already explained the reasons for the first two. However, taking a deeper dive, I thought about how moments of happiness exist because moments of sadness do as well. One cannot exist without the other. Meaning, I miss my family every day because they are so far away, so when I see them I am ecstatic. And not that I wouldn’t be happy if they lived up the street. I would love and prefer that, of course. But if that were the case, those first two choices would change to something different. Are you following me?

So now I have fully dissected my first two answers, on to 3rd answer. While, of course, being on the retreat was amazing. So amazing, I even wrote about the experience and still keep in touch with all of the yogis from the retreat. But I specifically mentioned the feeling I had when I returned because it was not until then that I truly realized how “Zenned” out I was…a word I made up to describe the Zen feeling I had.

If you’ve kept up with my posts, you know I was a pretty anxious and stressed out person at one point. And yoga has helped me overcome a lot of that. So, in my adult life, I have never truly realized just how good my body and mind are capable of feeling until the retreat.

I mean sure, we get long weekends to relax, or go on vacations and stay at lovely resorts to disconnect. But those feelings of relaxation never even came close to the feeling I felt when I returned from Tulum. The zen was noticeable on my face, in the way I spoke and even the way I walked. Everyone who interacted with me that day noticed the difference and thought I was on something. Every fiber in my body was like putty down to a cellular level, even my thoughts were crystal clear and I was just so…well…. zenned.

That feeling is different than a happy moment. It is not the same as when someone surprises you with a new puppy or something. That level of Zen is a state of being. One I want to go back to. And one I want to have become my permanent state of being.

So then I thought, well I can dish out all this money and use up all of my time to go on these yoga retreats once or twice a year, but that would mean I’m depending on something external to get me there each time, and eventually I may even become desensitized since I would always expect the same outcome. And I’m not saying I will never go to one again, of course I will. But the reality is the feeling exists. It is out there. I felt it. The fact that I felt it, means I know for sure that it is possible to achieve. At that moment, it took a yoga retreat to help me realize it was even possible. But the fact that that emotion actually exists means I can get there on my own. I can get there right this very second if I mentally knew how to. But at this moment in my life, I do not know how to call on it with a snap of a finger…yet.

So, all of this wasn’t to tell you about my happy moments. Although it was a fun exercise, and I encourage you to stop and think about your happy moments because it will make you feel good. You can even share them below, I love hearing/reading about happy moments.

But my point is, what you want exists. Whether you’ve felt it or not, and you shouldn’t settle until you get it. And maybe life gives us a taste of it once in a while to show us the possibilities when we’re unsure. And what I have learned in the past few weeks and months, is that a goal should be attached to a feeling not necessarily an object or event. It is the feeling you want once you have what you want that you should focus on. And even if you just want happiness, by thinking about your happiest moments, you will get that again.

I have made it one of my goals to feel that zen again. And to do that, I just have to remember the feeling and recall my state of mind and how I felt. The more I do that, that more it will come back to me, and eventually stay. I try to take a moment to recall that feeling as many times a day as I possibly can. Eventually, everything around me will shift and work itself out, whatever that means, to help me achieve that feeling. That, to me, is the true law of attraction.

I don’t think you just get something only by thinking and wishing for it. You get it by imagining how you would feel if you had it.

 

~ACE

2 Comments

  1. Alana

    Another great piece Alice.
    Searching for the feeling of happy as opposed for the object of something that creates it. and Living in that happiness. I guess that’s where the mindset of consistent gratitude helps.
    I know exactly the moments that have made me feel genuinely happy. and reading your moments, made me think of my own.
    I use to think “what if the happiness we seek is only momentary”. or “I only feel that way on a vacation”. And then I started to look at some of the people around me, or that I follow on social networks (like you for example. ) and would think, “they seem to be consistent in their happiness, why can’t I”?. Granted, we all have bad days. But I once saw that feeling of absolute happiness as some are more lucky than others. But Luck is what you make it. And happiness is a journey, and we are in control of our minds and thoughts. So its a universal tangible thing. So I def relate in trying each day to break that conditioned thought. And remembering the feeling of those moments is definitely one of the ways to help. haha I write just as much as your blog. But I always enjoy and its always relate-able

    • Alice

      I always love your comments. 🙂 They inspire me to keep writing because I know I’m reaching at least one person. And I love to see other’s perspectives as well. I’m glad you can relate and I’m glad that some of my posts inspire a different way of thinking, that is always my ultimate goal here. But there is definitely no constant state of happiness, lol, I feel like we would explode and life would be over if we were constantly supper happy. We have to take the good with the bad. But how we deal with the bad is just as important. 🙂 xoxo

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